Pray and Let God Worry

My daily Bible reflection seemed to fit beautifully with my current state of mind.

My husband is away for a few nights, I am unsettled, my son is unsettled, my dogs are unsettled. Added to this temporary state, there are changes in the midst for my family in the coming months and years.

It's so easy to get caught up worrying about the future, and forget that each morning God gives us the grace to make it through that particular day in the best way we can, if we only accept it. We are in the here and now, and so is God.

So today, I said my morning office, and left my cares and concerns with God. Already this has blessed me, I have been able to allay some concerns I was having with a short simple chat, and I feel empowered.

My tendency to pessimism doesn't sit well with my trust in God, and true prayer shouldn't be a last minute emergency measure but a foundation of grace for the whole day.

I pray we all have a day in which we can sense God's presence and feel his guiding hand in our lives.

New Year New Blog

I have decided a change is as good as a rest this New Year. So I have changed my blog title and altered my profile to reflect this.

The previous title didn't reflect the blog content at all really. So a blog mainly about God, dogs and home life should be so titled.

So Happy New Year one and all, and a return to blogging for me.

Recently I had reason to ask Mum for the date of my baptism. The conversation went something along these lines:
"Can you remember the date of my baptism?"
"Oh er...sometime in August 1980...I think. You were born on 6 July 1980 in Manygates hospital and..."
"yes Mum I know that bit"
"I know I am just trying to work it out...So... You were born on..." etc etc

Imagine my surprise when the same vague parent arrived for Christmas, not only had she remembered the date but also passed into my possession a copy of the original order of service, in which I am mentioned by name twice.

I sat down and read the typewritten order of service cover to cover, and I am not ashamed to say I shed a tear or two of joy. Three of my favourite hymns, particularly Be Thou My Vision, which I chose 22 years later for our wedding.

At the end of the service sheet is typed:
"Please take this service sheet home with you. Please study the Baptismal service and remember that YOU are pledged to the same promises for the whole of your life. It applies to us all.....
Christ's soldiers and servants to the end of our life. Let us never forget our duties of PRIVATE PRAYER, PUBLIC WORSHIP, EXAMPLE, AND WITNESS. Let us ever seek to grow in our knowledge and love of God and the Faith and in support for His Church.

God always keeps his promises. We must keep ours.

Renew Your Church, O Lord, beginning with me!"

Amen.








For those even vaguely interested: 24 August 1980 Altofts Parish Church.

Expecting a King

I have spent some time reflecting on St. Mary, today. I am currently on a journey of discovery with God, I am currently both elated and terrified by all the possibilities ahead and so it is quite right that Mary springs to mind.

The Mary, porcelain skinned meek and mild doll of the images, for whom the image in my head is quite different.

I see a girl, barely a woman, of bravery none can measure and strength none can know. I see a girl of faith and trust. A girl that God has lifted from her lowliness, and who carried in her womb the very nature of God's redemption of the world.

Wow!

Four Years Ago

4 years ago today our lives changed.

4 years ago to so did the lives of another family, and another.

4 years ago my Little Bear came into contact with his 3rd family, Us.

4 years ago today my house filled with toys and nappies and baby gear and my heart filled with love.

Little Bear, then and now, cute toddler or complicated little boy, for better and for worse, I will love you.

Not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone but still, miraculously my own.

We will remember them

I watched Gareth Malone's latest choir tonight. I love choral music and I have loved his previous choirs but this one touched me, in a different and altogether appropriate way.

It's the season of remembrance, and in a way the All Souls remembrance is (for me personally) the easiest, or should that be the simplest of them all.
It's relatively straightforward to remember and pay tribute publicly to those whom one has known personally, one knows the backstory.

On Remembrance Day we give thanks for the lives and the sacrificial nature of the deaths of those I personally have had no human contact with .

Tonight, on Gareth Malone's programme I had that contact. I saw wives and partners who were left to wonder, left waiting for the knock at the door which would rip apart their very world. I shed many tears during the programme.

Afterwards, quietly I remembered those who were not there. I prayed fervently for those widowed and in particular remembered those who had been widowed during the World Wars, and conflicts since.

Tonight I realised that before Gareth Malone was a happy thought for his parents there had been military wives receiving news of the fallen.

We will remember them.

Without adoption...

~ I would be free from little bits of plastic.
~ I would spend a lot more on toys and clothes for me.
~ I would have two families to understand, the one I was born into and the one into which I married.
~ I would have less discussions about childhood special needs, attachment, trauma and loss.
~ I would have experienced less judgement about children and their behaviour.
~ I would be child-less. Not child-free in my case but child-less.

With adoption...
~ I continue to experience new and exciting toys and games without embarrassment.
~ I get to buy cool miniture clothes and marvel at the speed a child can grow at the same time.
~ I am aware of my connection through my son, to another family. Our ties are broader and have more depth. I ask questions about him in the light of them.
~ I am aware of the obstacles, the children who are different. Not odd, not wonky, not weird, just different. I accept my son's complexities and work with them. I feel empathy towards other parents with different children.
~ My shoulders are broader, I take criticism less personally, and I have become a tiger protector for my son. I am his strongest, loudest and most persistant advocate.
~ I have a person in my life who offers me so much joy, love and appreciation, alongside a healthy (for us) dose of defiant, obstinate behaviour.
~ I am a Mum, not super Mum, wonder Mum, uber Mum or yummy Mum - just Mummy.

In the wonderful words of Todd Parr:
"We belong together because you needed a home and we had one to share. Now we are a family"

National Adoption Week 2011