Out of your depth?

Today brought a first for Bobby the Dachshund cross - he went swimming.

Well, when I say he went swimming what I mean is he chased Monty and his ball out of his depth, panicked and thrashed about for a bit and then discovered his Labrador genes, webbed paws and waterproof coat meant he was quite good at it, and he glided back to dry land.

It made me think of the Passion narrative I heard read beautifully in church this morning, which once again reduced me to tears. The disciples found themselves out of their depth at many times during Jesus' ministry but so apparent in the Garden of Gethsemane. They slept whilst Jesus agonised in prayer. They stood watching as his betrayer approached and they dispersed into the night terrified, alone and completely out of their depths.

I feel like this a lot, whilst parenting, whilst witnessing to Christ, and just whilst living as a weak and sinful human. During Holy Week, I wish I didn't cry out with the crowds who urged Pilate to crucify Him, I wish I hadn't run away scared and furiously denied Him, I wish I hadn't wept at the foot of the cross, but I do and I did.

In order, for me to have Christ's hope, I have to play a part in His death. Without his death Easter is null and void of meaning as resurrection is impossible. In this too I feel out of my depth, but I am not alone. Through Christ, with Christ, and in Christ I reach some depths and doggy paddle my way out of them.

This Holy Week I will be constantly reminded that I am only as effective as my last encounter with the risen Christ. However I can't rest on the last encounter, and must yearn to meet Him daily.

In the words of a hymn we sang today:

And yet I want to love Thee, Lord;
Oh, light the flame within my heart,
And I will love Thee more and more,
Until I see Thee as Thou art.